Why I PMC - Denise MacFarlane

#WhyIPMC guest blog by Denise MacFarlane, 9-year Team Jake, rider / volunteer

We all carry that silent list—the names of family and friends who’ve battled cancer. It’s the list no one wants to be on, with a column no one ever wants to fill.

My identical twin sister is on my list—she tops it. She’s battling a rare disease. And without the help of Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, the unthinkable—the unimaginable—almost happened.

People say, "I haven’t found my person yet."
Well, I was born with mine.

I don’t know what it’s like not to share a face with someone. We can unlock each other’s phones with our faces. I answer to both our names without even thinking. The idea of living life without her? I can’t even begin to imagine it. We have way too many years ahead of us.

When we were kids, people always asked what it was like to be a twin. We’d shrug and say, ‘We don’t know—we’ve never known anything else.’ Being a twin wasn’t something special to us. It was just... life. Normal. Until life reminded us how fragile even the most permanent things can feel. Jenne’s husband calls us ‘the Egg.’ And I’m her spare parts.

I would’ve traded places with her in a heartbeat so she didn’t have to go through what she did—surviving Pheochromocytoma, a rare tumor in the adrenal gland. Though honestly, I could never be the incredible advocate she is for the Pheo Para Alliance.

Sometimes I run into people she knows—at the grocery store, or even at PMC headquarters. They don’t realize I’m not her. There’s always that quick, puzzled look: Why is she acting weird? And then I get it—they think I’m Jenne. I quickly explain and the awkwardness doesn't last.  She has three beautiful granddaughters who have mistaken me for their Nonne. I’m not the least bit ashamed to admit I have stolen extra hugs and kisses as their Nonne. (Sorry, not sorry.)

Can you imagine having those moments… and then one day, not?
I can’t.

This year, I’m switching my PMC volunteer t-shirt for a PMC rider jersey. But not only am I riding the Pan-Mass Challenge, but I will be doing with my twin, Jen Marchetti, and Team Jake—for her, and for the countless others on that silent list we all carry but wish we didn’t.