It's been five years since I finished my treatment, which makes four and a half solid years of the topic "just not coming up." In that time, not talking about it has become a habit, not just a convenience; my cancer experience has become a subject I almost consciously avoid. Even when the opportunity somehow presents itself, I shy away from it because I'm afraid of how the other person might react. I anticipate their awkward embarrassment, or I imagine myself reduced to "Daniel the cancer survivor" in their eyes, and I stay quiet. Now that so much time has passed, there's also a strong desire to just forget about it. I don't like to talk about those days, even to some of the people who were with me the whole way.

When you think about the Pan-Mass Challenge, your first thought is that challenge means riding your bike 192 miles over two days through some pretty hilly terrain, but let's be honest - the ride is the fun part. Your second thought is that the PMC folks have challenged you to raise $4200 for the privilege of participating, and that is pretty difficult, especially for someone like me who hates to ask for money under any circumstances. But for me, the real challenge is to get up in front of everyone like this and say, "Yes, I had cancer." 

 Now that I've said it, that's the first step taken, and if you're interested, I will gladly tell you more. It's important for people to know that cancer survivors are not all pink ribbon wearers or Lance Armstrong activists, and for that awareness to happen, the rest of us need to make our presence known. So: I was treated for lymphoma, I'm five years in remission, and I'm riding in the Pan-Mass Challenge to help support the hospital that saved my life.